Over the last two and a half years, I've flatted with about ten or eleven people altogether, which seems a lot now that I've thought about it. I've flatted with two of those people the entire time, and we're a pretty tight unit, so I hadn't realised there had been seven or eight others.
We've always had a quote wall up in our flats, to capture moments of unintentional humour and potential embarrassment. I thought I'd share some of them with you today. Most have been taken completely out of context. Unnamed, because I don't want to share my flatmates' names, and this is a great excuse to avoid indicating which ones are mine!
"The chicken is soft and tender like a love song."
"Did I tell you the story about when I was in the oven the other day?"
"It screens in 120 countries."
"120?! That's like 60 times two!"
"No, no, not the chicken!"
"I did not want to have to resort to this. I am afraid you leave me no other option."
(Re: guys) "They all just want me for my body."
"I've listened to this music for so long that I could go put on a bonnet."
"No one's that beautiful in real life."
"Of course they are! I have to look at it in the mirror every day."
"If Jesus was in a fairy tale, he would slay the dragon."
(Struggling with a bean bag) "I feel like a whale trying to get out of the sea."
"[Unnamed] kisses like a ravenous wildebeest."
"He likes goats."
"Wow, so much potential for seducing him."
X: "Allie failed at picking up ... (long pause) ... cabbage."
Y: "X failed at remembering what cabbage is."
(After hearing Adam Lambert sing Led Zeppelin) "I'm so jaded. I've heard it all before."
"He could carve my roast any day!"
(telling a story) "So, I used my intelligentness..."
"In all seriousness now..."
"I know. We never joke about dinner."
X: "It's zero, not oh."
Y: "Spot the pedantic person!"
Z: "Spot the pedant."
"I can't be friends with you anymore, I'm a boyfriended woman."
"Is it just me or is the internet slow?"
"No, you're slow too."
"Let's go shopping! Let's get dinner! Let's watch North & South!"
"Let's jump up and down and squeal!"
We have fun.