I am determined to finish my thesis by Christmas.
This is going to take quite some work.
I have a meeting with my supervisors on Wednesday in which we are going to figure out the direction my work needs to go in. This is what one of them wrote in an email about reading the last few chapters I've written: ...the existence of some problems, along with the basic quality of the research and the promise of the project. We need a long and deep discussion, as some restructuring may be needed.
It was nice of him to remember to say something kind - but I could already tell, as I read through what I've written now, that it's far from perfect and that the structure doesn't really work. I wasn't going to say anything about it because I hoped maybe I was wrong, but it looks like I'm in for a hard slog, uphill.
At the moment, I just want it to be over. I think once I've had the meeting and we've brainstormed a bit and I'm full of ideas, I'll be rearing to go. For now, I read it over and over, I jot down problems, and I rely on:
- caffeine. Procrastibaking. Cake.
- repeating to myself in all moments of utter panic my sister's PhD motto, taken from Finding Nemo's Dorie: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
- laughing at my situation and reminding myself that every single other thesis student goes through this and at least it's not a PhD: see Lord of the Rings allegory here...
- taking moments to do things like fix my bibliography or my footnotes, write my acknowledgments, etc. Nice practical tasks that remind me that I will finish. One sweet day.